So there I was at the age of 13, wondering how I can leave this crazy situation. What would you do? Kill yourself? Do drugs? Get a job to support yourself? Run away?
How about all of the above. It got so bad that one summer, when I was 12 years old, there was no food in the house but canned goods. I was tired of eating.4 canned green beans and corn and my hands were raw from handwashing my jeans and clothes. I got on my bicycle and asked every store owner for a job. I finally got one at a Japanese restaurant a mile away. I became a dishwasher. At $5 an hour, I worked 4 hours on the weekend. I made $40 a week. The best part was that I could eat "real food" when I worked. You see, because I got to wash dishes, I could eat the left over food on the plates. At first I would sneak pieces of food in my mouth. Then I thought, next time I will put the food in a plastic bag and take them for later. I did this for a few weeks until one day the owner watched me doing this. This husband and wife team sat me down and told me that I could order anything I wanted after I work each shift and that I can take my food home if I couldn't finish it there. They told me it was not safe for me to eat the left over food and they worried if I ate during the week. I told them the money I make was enough for me to eat for the week and when I go back to school I will have free food again.
I also joined a professional band. I practiced hard everyday so that when there were openings for a paid position a year later, I knew I would make it. I had to, there was no other choice for me. I needed the money to buy clothes and food for next summer. I was also going to start high school so I needed school supplies and hated shopping at the thrift stores. I wanted new clothes for once and not hand me downs. I made $62 every week practicing songs in our group for four hours and performing at every parade, mall during Christmas time, private parties, government parties, and especially the governor's parties at his white house.
Where was my sister? Well, when I was 11 she ran away. She lived with her best friend in another village for 2 years. I missed her, I didn't want to be home anymore and I hated all the yelling and fights I had to break up between my mom and dad. So I would call her to take me out of there. She would pick me up and take me with her to hang out with her friends. I know, I was only 12 but I wanted out.
My brother? He made surfboards so he could eat and then he became a professional surfer. He was sponsored from name brand clothing companies and competed in surfing competitions in the pacific. I didn't see him very much.
When I was 13 my sister finally came home. She introduced me to her guy friends and one of them was in the high school band. So the summer before I started high school my sister made a deal with one of her guy friends, Jason San Nicolas. He would date me and my sister would date his best friend Charles Anderson. Jason was 3 years older than me and he was my first everything. I was young, in love, and even though he cheated on me a few times and physically abused me, I believed that because I allowed myself to be with him that the GOD I was taught about was going to punish me if ever went with another man. It was my fault for the choices I made and I would be punished for it. So I accepted my fate but I also saw him as a way out of my family situation. Two years later we started talking about having a baby so that I can leave my parents. He was almost 18 and already had a job. So I got pregnant at age 15 but then reality hit me. I really wasn't ready to be a parent. I waited for my dad to come home from fishing, it was 2am, and he was sober. I asked my dad to help me go to the doctors to have an abortion. He was mad. He lectured me about getting pregnant and what the hell was I thinking. The next words that came out of his mouth was a defining moment in my life. He said he would never help me kill his grandson and that if he found out that I did, he would disown me as his daughter. The next day he made an appointment for me to see a doctor to confirm my pregnancy and begin prenatal visits. He said he was going to die soon and wanted to enjoy his grandson. Yes, he did say grandson and not grandchild. He told me throughout my pregnancy that I was going to have a boy. He would talk to my stomach, He came with me to every doctor's visit. He made sure I was talking all my vitamins and eating well. My dad finally stopped hitting my mom. They finally stopped fighting and started talking like normal people. They were friends again. My dad even wanted to get back together with my mom but she wasn't going to let that happen.
At 16, my miracle son, Jareth San Nicolas was born. I say miracle because for years since I turned 11, I had visions and thoughts that I was going to die before I turned 16. For years I would tell everyone close to me that I was going to die soon and that I knew I was going to die before 16. So instead of death, I chose life.
How about all of the above. It got so bad that one summer, when I was 12 years old, there was no food in the house but canned goods. I was tired of eating.4 canned green beans and corn and my hands were raw from handwashing my jeans and clothes. I got on my bicycle and asked every store owner for a job. I finally got one at a Japanese restaurant a mile away. I became a dishwasher. At $5 an hour, I worked 4 hours on the weekend. I made $40 a week. The best part was that I could eat "real food" when I worked. You see, because I got to wash dishes, I could eat the left over food on the plates. At first I would sneak pieces of food in my mouth. Then I thought, next time I will put the food in a plastic bag and take them for later. I did this for a few weeks until one day the owner watched me doing this. This husband and wife team sat me down and told me that I could order anything I wanted after I work each shift and that I can take my food home if I couldn't finish it there. They told me it was not safe for me to eat the left over food and they worried if I ate during the week. I told them the money I make was enough for me to eat for the week and when I go back to school I will have free food again.
I also joined a professional band. I practiced hard everyday so that when there were openings for a paid position a year later, I knew I would make it. I had to, there was no other choice for me. I needed the money to buy clothes and food for next summer. I was also going to start high school so I needed school supplies and hated shopping at the thrift stores. I wanted new clothes for once and not hand me downs. I made $62 every week practicing songs in our group for four hours and performing at every parade, mall during Christmas time, private parties, government parties, and especially the governor's parties at his white house.
Where was my sister? Well, when I was 11 she ran away. She lived with her best friend in another village for 2 years. I missed her, I didn't want to be home anymore and I hated all the yelling and fights I had to break up between my mom and dad. So I would call her to take me out of there. She would pick me up and take me with her to hang out with her friends. I know, I was only 12 but I wanted out.
My brother? He made surfboards so he could eat and then he became a professional surfer. He was sponsored from name brand clothing companies and competed in surfing competitions in the pacific. I didn't see him very much.
When I was 13 my sister finally came home. She introduced me to her guy friends and one of them was in the high school band. So the summer before I started high school my sister made a deal with one of her guy friends, Jason San Nicolas. He would date me and my sister would date his best friend Charles Anderson. Jason was 3 years older than me and he was my first everything. I was young, in love, and even though he cheated on me a few times and physically abused me, I believed that because I allowed myself to be with him that the GOD I was taught about was going to punish me if ever went with another man. It was my fault for the choices I made and I would be punished for it. So I accepted my fate but I also saw him as a way out of my family situation. Two years later we started talking about having a baby so that I can leave my parents. He was almost 18 and already had a job. So I got pregnant at age 15 but then reality hit me. I really wasn't ready to be a parent. I waited for my dad to come home from fishing, it was 2am, and he was sober. I asked my dad to help me go to the doctors to have an abortion. He was mad. He lectured me about getting pregnant and what the hell was I thinking. The next words that came out of his mouth was a defining moment in my life. He said he would never help me kill his grandson and that if he found out that I did, he would disown me as his daughter. The next day he made an appointment for me to see a doctor to confirm my pregnancy and begin prenatal visits. He said he was going to die soon and wanted to enjoy his grandson. Yes, he did say grandson and not grandchild. He told me throughout my pregnancy that I was going to have a boy. He would talk to my stomach, He came with me to every doctor's visit. He made sure I was talking all my vitamins and eating well. My dad finally stopped hitting my mom. They finally stopped fighting and started talking like normal people. They were friends again. My dad even wanted to get back together with my mom but she wasn't going to let that happen.
At 16, my miracle son, Jareth San Nicolas was born. I say miracle because for years since I turned 11, I had visions and thoughts that I was going to die before I turned 16. For years I would tell everyone close to me that I was going to die soon and that I knew I was going to die before 16. So instead of death, I chose life.